Bless the Lord at ALL Times

"I will bless the Lord at ALL times, His praises will be forever on my lips. My soul shall glory in the Lord, for He has been so good to me."

Bless the Lord at ALL times....not sometimes, not just when things are going well, not just in the joyful moments, but at ALL times. WOW! Having the ability to bless the Lord at all times requires a tremendous TRUST in Him. Jesus, I Trust in You, in the beautiful,lovely moments, and in the uncomfortable, miserable, sorrowful moments as well. It is in these sorrowful times that we will truly grow.

On March 30, 2007, a hopeful, sunny, afternoon turned into a sorrowful dark night of the soul. Within hours of having an ultrasound that revealed that my baby measured only half the size it should be, I suddenly began to miscarry. I was at the threshhold of my second trimester, a time during my other pregnancies that had been a positive experience where I'd think to myself, I'm out of the woods! This time however, the woods enveloped me. I found myself lost in the center of the dark wood surrounded by branches of grief reaching towards the heavens.

We had been waiting for Easter to announce to family and friends of the newest Blessing to our family. Our announcement suddenly turned from joy to sorrow. This year, my Lenten Sacrifice would be deeply profound. Not sweets or other indulgences, but my child. My heart cried out for mercy, "Why Lord? Why can't I have this child?" I was so very sad, and so very angry too...why must I suffer a miscarriage, when I so joyfully welcomed this unexpected child? I knew that I would be speaking in just a few weeks about the Divine Mercy message at each mass at our church. I prayed for God's infinite grace to be able to speak to the congregation with composure the Divine Mercy message...Jesus I TRUST in You!

The last few weeks have been full of great sorrow at never getting to meet JoHannah. They have also been full of joy in believing that she is now enjoying the fullness of the joy of heaven. My joy has also come from a wonderful, grace-filled Divine Mercy weekend. The message is ever more dear to my heart after losing JoHannah, because I believe the Lord, in His great mercy welcomes these little ones with open arms into heaven. It is so comforting to believe that a little part of John and a little part of me is already in heaven!  It is getting the rest of us there that is the challenge.*smile* Children truly sanctify us, and this child definitely has made me (and others) draw closer to the Lord, trusting Him at all times, as best I can in my humanity.

In this lifetime, I may never fully realize why JoHannah Paulina was not allowed to be born into this world. I know though, that the few short months she was concealed within me, were a time of joyful anticipation. Another blessing was entrusted to me by God and I welcomed her with my whole heart. Now, our little saint, patiently awaits, in joyful anticipation, the arrival of her Mommy, Daddy, and siblings into heaven. She, along with Peter Augustine, the child we lost 16 years ago, will be our greatest advocates. I imagine them on Jesus' lap, whispering in his ear little intercessions, "Dear Jesus, please help Mommy to have more patience. Please help my brother to be kinder..."

In my opinion, every parent's mission should be to bring our children to God. Our primary reward is not to see our child graduate from college, or to be financially successful, although those things are blessings. Our primary reward is to know that we have been successful in passing on the faith. We must teach our children to know God, love God, and serve God...and I will add...to trust Him at ALL times. Then we will receive our greatest reward, to one day be together with our children in heaven. God in His great mercy, gave our family a jumpstart...now we have 2 children there, and only 6 children and 2 parents to go!