Handmaids of Mercy

Metanoia: A Change of Heart, Spiritual Conversion

A cool new word

The first time that I had ever come across the word "metanoia" was about a year ago when I first read the incredible story about three young Catholic men that had formed a new production company called, "Metanoia Films". Together, they made an inspiring movie based on a true story, entitled, "Bella". So in seeing a word, that I did not know, I decided to look it up. Etymology: Greek, from metanoiein to change one's mind, repent. : a transformative change of heart ; especially : a spiritual conversion.

If you have not yet seen Bella, please find the time to see it. It won the 2007 People's Choice Award at the Toronto Film Festival. I know it is at Blockbuster and also for sale at both Walmart and Target. In my opinion, it is a deeply moving movie. Here is the basic synopsis from their website: An international soccer star is on his way to sign a multi-million dollar contract when something happens that brings his career to an abrupt end. A waitress, struggling to make it in New York City, discovers something about herself that she's unprepared for. In one irreversible moment, their lives are turned upside down...until an impetuous action brings them together and turns an ordinary day into an unforgettable experience. Once a famous athlete, and now a cook at his brother's Mexican restaurant, José has retreated from the world but he recognizes something in Nina, a young waitress, and reaches out to her. In the course of a single day, he not only confronts his past but shows her how the healing power of a family can help her embrace the future.

So, this movie, is about a life-changing experience for more than one character. The film company carefully chose the name "Metanoia Films" based on the real-life "life changing" experiences of both the lead actor in Bella, a formerly very successful Mexican Soap Opera Star, Eduardo Verastegui, and the Director, Alejandro Monteverde. In a recent interview, Verastequi said,“I loved the fact that José was a man who had everything, he was at the top of the mountain in his career, he had the right things — and in one moment he lost it all,” said Verástegui. “But in losing it all, he found everything that really matters in life, which is faith and family. We see this guy completely different — more mature, more sensitive, living for others, patient. He learned how to listen, how to come outside of himself, to help other people. It’s not about him. He’s willing to sacrifice everything to help someone.”

Metanoia Films and metanoia at mass!

Last night, I found myself talking to our friend Brian about Metanoia Films. Brian has done some work in independent films and even a Learning Channel Documentary and was talking to me after his performance last night about finding "worthwhile, wholesome" film parts, so I had to tell him about Bella.

Metanoia was also the theme of this morning's scripture readings and Father Leo's homily.

Gospel Mt 21:28-32

Jesus said to the chief priests and elders of the people:
"What is your opinion?
A man had two sons.
He came to the first and said,
'Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.'
He said in reply, 'I will not, '
but afterwards changed his mind and went.
The man came to the other son and gave the same order.
He said in reply, 'Yes, sir, ‘but did not go.
Which of the two did his father's will?"
They answered, "The first."
Jesus said to them, "Amen, I say to you,
tax collectors and prostitutes
are entering the kingdom of God before you.
When John came to you in the way of righteousness,
you did not believe him;
but tax collectors and prostitutes did.
Yet even when you saw that,
you did not later change your minds and believe him."

Workers in the Vineyard....will you stay or stray?

What will it take to change our hardened hearts? Tragedy, misfortune, rejection and a longing for something true lead most souls to the vineyard, but not all, some turn and walk in the other direction, far away from the vineyard where the grapes of sacrifice are sown. But they are not the only ones with problems. Even those who feel they have finally arrived at the vineyard after taking many detours to get there, are not done, in fact they are never done, until they take their last breath.

Say that we are IN the vineyard, we are toiling away, making progress, but we may look down at any point and find ourselves suddenly in a brand new area of the vineyard, with dry soil and weeds filled with thorns. What happened, wasn't I almost done here? Yes, we look behind us and see where we were, the progress we've made, but when we look up from our hard work, we see there is still so much more work to do in the vineyard of our souls, so much more to work on, so much more to aspire to, so many areas that we had not realized that we were deficient in before a sudden life-changing event made it vividly clear to us. We have two choices, throw down our tools, or dig in and cultivate the dry soil.

Our hearts have to be changed, our hearts have to be transformed by our toil in order to meet our newest challenge. If our heart remains the same as it was in our last area of the vineyard, if we learn nothing new about ourselves, if we stubbornly choose to harden our heart, we will find ourselves right back again, digging through the same bramble to which we can never seem to escape, our grapes...the fruit of our toil, become sour and even at times shriveled and rotten.

We have a choice to make every day of our lives. Change our hearts or remain the same.

Master of Metanoia: St. Paul

Thank goodness there is St. Paul, a man who had embraced his own metanoia. He went from a persecutor of Christians to a great apostle in an instant as he was suddenly struck blind by God while traveling in pursuit of Christians. Here is what he had to say to the Phillipians.

Phillipians 2:1-11

Brothers and sisters:
If there is any encouragement in Christ,
any solace in love,
any participation in the Spirit,
any compassion and mercy,
complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love,
united in heart, thinking one thing.
Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory;
rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves,
each looking out not for his own interests,
but also for those of others.

Have in you the same attitude
that is also in Christ Jesus,
Who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to the point of death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
which is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

I want to be like Christ, "obedient to the point of death". I want to accept whatever God has for me. But I haven't always felt that way. I've stumbled through most of my life, stubbornly willing to accept the path on which He was setting my feet, digging my heels in time and time again. Yes, I've had my own idea of what I wanted to be "when I grow up" most of my life. I was to be a Music Teacher and touch the hearts and souls of all the children I would teach. I would do "something wonderful for God", serving as a Church Choir Director AND Director of Religious Education. This was my plan. It did not include not being able to complete my semester of student teaching because of my Dad's sudden decline in health and early retirement due to asbestosis, mental and health problems. It did not include graduating from college later with three years of a Music Ed. degree under my belt but with a Business Adminstration degree in my hand. It did not include being a "whistle blower" as to poor management and ethical concerns regarding the children at the Child Care Center where I was the Assistant Director. It did not include many, many other disappointments and changes of plans. It certainly did not include welcoming SIX children. And is certainly didn't include Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Juvenile Diabetes and most definitely bone cancer.

We have a choice to make

I had two choices, and you do too,  believe me I've dabbled in them both, but chose one road to travel.

I'm sorry God, I know I said, "Yes" to you when I was baptised and confirmed, but....but....this was not the way it was supposed to be. things are not going according to plan....my plan...and I'm discouraged, depressed, and angry, very, very angry....so I'm leaving the vineyard NOW.

I'm sorry God, I know I said, "Yes" to you when I was baptised and confirmed, but... I now realize that I continue to stumble, sometimes I fall way off course, sometimes I need to be picked up, but I'm still here Lord. I'm staying the course Lord. I'm fighting the good fight. The sour grapes, well they belong to me, they are of my own doing and well, the sweet ones, they are so very sweet, I truly don't deserve them and you gave me so many any way. Help me Lord. Help me to empty myself as you did. Help me to die to myself, my ideas of who and what I SHOULD be. Help me to decrease so that You Lord can increase. I no longer desire to do "something wonderful for You" as though I could take credit for it in some way. Now I only desire that You do something wonderful through me as your willing and obedient servant. Thank-you God, strengthen this worker in the vineyard, help me to work through all the dry soil you want me to work through. Give me the courage to destroy the toughest of weeds and the grace to survive the pricks of the largest thorns. I trust in You. I trust in You. Your plans are not my plans. Your thoughts are not my thoughts. I trust in You. I trust in You. Change my heart this time, as you have so many times before, show me your way for as long as I live. I know I will never be perfected until I meet you in heaven, I will have work to do until my last dying breath. I will stay in the vineyard until you arrive. I've seen the sign on the vineyard gate that says "Open 24 hours a day. Seven days a week, for all Eternity. Everyone is welcome, no need to apply, no background check."

Mary Kidd Flemming blogs for The Handmaids of Mercy , The Splendor of Truth and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Life Issues). You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center  The Flemming Family is facing the greatest challenge of their lives as three of their six kids have health issues and were all diagnosed within an eighth month period. The children's illnesses include: Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Type I Diabetes (insulin dependent), and Ewing's Sarcoma (a form of bone cancer). This has been an incredible journey of faith for the Flemming Family. While they don't fully understand why any of this happened to their children, they place their trust and faith totally in God's goodness. By sharing their faith journey, their hope is that other people will be drawn closer to The Holy Trinity (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit). It is Mary's great hope that the sufferings of her children and family will be received by God for the conversion of souls. JESUS, WE TRUST in YOU!

The Road Less Travelled: Faith, Hope and Love

The aisleway of God's Outdoor Cathedral

I can still remember the sound of her blue patent leather pumps clicking in perfect rhythm on the bumpy asphalt beneath her feet as we made our way slowly, meandering from from one end of Smith Avenue to the other end. This sound was harmonized by the scampering of four little Mary Janes beating to our own drums and tuning in to chirping birds, falling leaves or barking dogs. I remember the feel of her silky blue glove as she gently cradled my little hand in hers. I remember looking up at her and seeing her crisp blue dress and costume jewelry sparkling in the sun. I recall listening to her voice as she marveled with us at every caterpillar, every puddle and every leaf, which caught our eye and how she told us that God had made all of this because He loved us so dearly. I remember her taking her time to get to our destination, we weren't rushed, the nature walk was part of her plan, an integral piece of the journey as sojourners on the way to the little Presbyterian Church at the end of the street. Her little street was the aisleway of God's outdoor Cathedral. She always preferred to walk to church, no matter what the season or the weather.

You go your way and I'll go mine...it was all about me.

I also remember my alarm going off as I laid stone cold silent in the bed. I didn't feel like going to church. I'd been out very late the night before with my friends. When she came to wake me, I ignored her. When she came back a few minutes later, I bellowed. Finally, as she made her final attempt to rouse me, I'd say, "I know, I know" and she would say, "I'm leaving in thirty minutes with or without you. You are welcome to walk with me, but either way, I'm leaving... The rest is between you and God." I remember thinking smugly to myself, "It isn't about you, it is about me, and I'm too tired to go. You go your way and I'll go mine." More than once she left me, but something inside of me always thrust me out of bed when I heard the door close. Many a time, I hurriedly ran out of her house, still buttoning or zipping something and carrying my shoes in my hands. The leisurely walks were now replaced by the sound of my feet pounding the pavement alone, and some how, this solitary hurried state, made my heart twinge inside for the days of happy, joyful, nature walks.

I remember the day she passed out in the recliner with a cup of scalding hot coffee and burned herself very badly. I remember the ride to the hospital following the ambulance, the congested, windy road. The doctors at the hospital soon discovered that she had passed out from lack of oxygen and she needed an emergency pacemaker. So she underwent the surgery. The doctor accidentally punctured her aorta and she nearly bled to death. I remember the smell of the horrible yellow cleanser in the very busy ICU. I remember holding her wrinkled hand in my own, yearning to feel the silkiness of her church glove once more. I remember people telling her that she was crazy for not sueing the surgeon, but she wouldn't do it, "Everyone makes mistakes" she said. I remember spending all night in the waiting room, and still weeping harder than I ever had before in my life the next morning when I saw her swollen face and arms and legs, she was truly unrecognizable. I remember the doctor telling my anquished father, "Your mother is in critical condition." I remember telling her I loved her, to try to rest, and I'd see her when I got back. I walked out of the hospital and across the street to a local high school where I took my SATs. I was seventeen years old. Afterwards, I ran as fast as I could back to the hospital. It was days before the tubes were removed, and the first thing I can recall her saying, in a very hoarse voice is, "How did you do?" It wasn't about her, it was all about me.

My Conversion....a ten pound baby on her chest.

I remember how accepting she was when I called her from college to tell her that I had decided to go down a different path. I was going to go through R.C.I.A. (Rite of Christian Initiation) classes at the local Catholic church and that John was going to sponsor me, that I wanted to become Catholic. I remember her saying to me how important a role faith could play in a marriage, and how it was something she'd always hoped for, but had never had. She said, "It is much easier when the two of you agree on religion, that will be a blessing to you both!" She loved John and his family and said she totally trusted my decision. Although, she didn't have the money to spare, she scrimped and saved enough money to surprise me with the funds to cover the cost of my wedding dress, I told her I didn't want to take it and she told me, I want this to be my gift to you. She must have been saving from the time I told her about beginning the classes!

I remember the weeks after my first child was born by C-Section as I anquished in pain and discomfort down a road I had not yet travelled. Although into her seventies by then, she came to help me in whatever way she could. I remember how she convinced me that I had to get some sleep and that she would wake me when the baby needed to nurse. While she had a cradle at her disposal, she chose to sleep all night with a 10.5 pound baby on her chest, comforting him and rubbing his back so he'd sleep longer. I finally slept for the first time for consecutive hours at a time. I remember this same child and this same woman then in her eighties playing "tent" under her kitchen table and going for nature walks outside of her apartment, his hand in hers, just as it should have been. I remember how when his little sister arrived after five years of being an only child, that she had a special box filled with treasures just for him when he came for a visit...tiny charms, little acorns, brightly covered leaves, a Cicada shell, so much of God's creation contained in that special little box.

Thank-you for giving me faith, hope and love.

I remember the hours she spent clipping out cartoons, local articles, and church bulletin announcements to stuff the handwritten cards she faithfully sent me from the time I went away to college until she left this world.

I remember her great love of books, poetry and nature and the effect of being immersed in her text rich environment. I learned to love poetry and literature from her example. She was quick to turn off the t.v. and grab a good book. She enjoyed quiet mornings, peaceful sunsets an untrodden paths and so do I.

I also remember the great struggles of her life, an alcoholic abusive husband whom she refused to divorce, two mentally ill sons, one Bi-Polar and the other Schizophrenic, one of whom always seemed to be hospitalized. By her example, she taught me to love, in spite of being hated by the ones that should by all accounts love you, to give when you know you will never receive, to trust with all your heart in God's plan even in your darkest moments, and to keep the faith no matter what the circumstance.

Her name was Inez Thornton Kidd and she was my Grandma. Happy Birthday Grandma! Thank-you for giving me faith, hope and love. Thanks for venturing down the road less travelled.

The Road Less Travelled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

Mary Kidd Flemming blogs for The Handmaids of Mercy , The Splendor of Truth and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Life Issues). You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center  The Flemming Family is facing the greatest challenge of their lives as three of their six kids have health issues and were all diagnosed within an eighth month period. The children's illnesses include: Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Type I Diabetes (insulin dependent), and Ewing's Sarcoma (a form of bone cancer). This has been an incredible journey of faith for the Flemming Family. While they don't fully understand why any of this happened to their children, they place their trust and faith totally in God's goodness. By sharing their faith journey, their hope is that other people will be drawn closer to The Holy Trinity (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit). It is Mary's great hope that the sufferings of her children and family will be received by God for the conversion of souls. JESUS, WE TRUST in YOU!

Happy Birthday Blessed Mother: Celebrating the Nativity of the Virgin Mary

Happy Birthday Dear Mary

Sept. 8th is the Feast of the Nativity of the Virgin Mary. Happy Birthday to Mary, Mother of Jesus, and Blessed Mother to us all. For years, I’ve considered myself a member of the Christian family of Jesus and for a long time it seemed strange to me to embrace Mary as my Heavenly Mother in the way that I accept God as my Father in Heaven. Somehow, it seemed inequitable to me because Mary is clearly a human being and not a member of the Holy Trinity. Yet, throughout the years, I have come to realize her significance in salvation history, for she was chosen from ALL women throughout ALL eternity to serve as the mother of the God-Man, Christ. She is is not to be worshiped or adored, but rather venerated for the role she played in willingly bringing her unborn child into the world.

To be the mother of Jesus, is no small task, one I’m sure any of us would have found a challenge to which we admittedly would not be prepared or even capable of meeting. Mary recognized the enormous responsibility this entailed and relied not on her own understanding but on God to fill her completely with his grace, so that she could freely choose to do His will. She was able to obey God with total submission, neglecting any self-serving motives of a normal human being. When the Angel Gabriel greets her, he says, "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you." (Luke 1:28) She responded to the Angel Gabriel, “I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to Thy word.”

When Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth, barren for years, but now expecting John the Baptist, Elizabeth responds, "Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb." (Luke 1:42) Astonished, Elizabeth adds, "And why is this granted me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" (Luke 1:43). Both Elizabeth and Mary are pregnant by the grace of God. This tells us that we too, when obedient to His word can live a life full of grace. We all have to learn to be obedient and to rely on God being in charge of every detail of our existence.

Model of True Obedience

A powerful statement was once made by the Dorothy Day, advocate for the poor, “True obedience is a matter of love, which makes it voluntary, not compelled by fear or force”.

This is the true obedience espoused by Our Blessed Mother. Be it done to me according to THY WORD, in today’s words….let it happen, just as you say it should. WOW! Not as I say it should or think it should but as GOD says it should. What remarkable faith, trust and obedience.

The Blessed Virgin Mary is a guide for me on my faith journey, a mentor for me in my motherhood, a beacon of light leading me ever closer to her son…..the purpose of her entire existence and all she ever aspired to do….bring Christ to the world. Today’s post is my birthday gift to her. As a struggling mother, uncertain of why God is asking so much of me these days, but hoping to continue to trust in His infinite goodness and purposes unknown to me, I look to the Mother of Jesus.

No easy life for the Mother of Jesus

Mary surely felt fearful at seeing an angel and hearing that she would conceive a child, out of wedlock. She surely feared Joseph’s wrath and that of the elders in her town that could have stoned her to death. She had to leave her home, her family all she knew to travel miles across bumpy terrain, bareback on a donkey, nine months pregnant! She gave birth in a stable, for goodness sake. She then had to flee with her new husband and infant to Egypt to escape a mad King wanting to kill her little boy. But wait, that is not the end of the story!

Mary had to endure the whispers and mockery of the villagers that had grown up with Jesus, who questioned who He was and what He claimed when He began His public ministry. She then witnessed His capture, torture, painful walk to Calvary and His death on the cross. Yet, all the while, she continued her fiat, “Be it done to me, according to Thy word.”

No easy life for the Mother of us all

The Blessed Mother, the Queen Mother of Heaven was obedient in all that was ever asked of her. It is to her that I cry as a poor banished child of Eve, to her that I send up my sighs, mourning and weeping in my valley of tears. Just as any mother is her child’s greatest advocate, I find myself as my children’s greatest advocate, entrusting their very lives into the hands of God. Mary was not only the greatest advocate of Jesus, but she is also my Most Gracious Advocate, Her eyes of mercy always on me, leading me to the most precious fruit of her womb, Jesus. She desires for me and all of us to be with Him for all eternity.

The Blessed Mother guides me in my journey of faith, whenever I turn to her for assistance. I am reminded of her willingness to say "Yes" to God, not knowing what the future would hold or to what degree she would be asked to be perfectly selfless in all she would be asked to do....even witnessing the horrible, cruel death of her only son on a cross. I turn to her as my children have cried out in agony, during tests, shots and procedures and I am reminded of all she suffered at the foot of the cross. The Blessed Mother’s obedience to all that was asked of Her guides me and inspires me to have trust in God's will for our family. Her statement at Cana, "Do whatever He asks of You" rings in my ears whenever I feel weak and discouraged. Today, I celebrate Our Blessed Mother's birth for the great significance it had in ushering in the advent of salvation for all mankind. I feel so blessed to call Her "Mother" and I hope you will too.

Gentle woman, quiet light, morning star, so strong and bright,
gentle Mother, peaceful dove, teach us wisdom; teach us love.

From Hail Mary, Gentle Woman, Text and music © 1975, 1978, Carey Landry.

Mary Kidd Flemming blogs for The Handmaids of Mercy , The Splendor of Truth and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Life Issues). You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center  The Flemming Family is facing the greatest challenge of their lives as three of their six kids have health issues and were all diagnosed within an eighth month period. The children's illnesses include: Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Type I Diabetes (insulin dependent), and Ewing's Sarcoma (a form of bone cancer). This has been an incredible journey of faith for the Flemming Family. While they don't fully understand why any of this happened to their children, they place their trust and faith totally in God's goodness. By sharing their faith journey, their hope is that other people will be drawn closer to The Holy Trinity (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit). It is Mary's great hope that the sufferings of her children and family will be received by God for the conversion of souls. JESUS, WE TRUST in YOU!

You are like children in the marketplace

Children in the marketplace

I'll let you in on a little secret, I LOVE children and that is why I have six of them! I love, love, love being silly with my kids. I love making up silly songs and dances too, dressing up in ridiculous costumes, using silly voices when I read to them and being downright goofy with them. As my bumper sticker says, I am a DRAMA MAMA.

The other day, I had this for my daily scripture reading and it truly took me back while meditating on it:

Gospel
Luke 7:31-35

Jesus said to the crowds:

“To what shall I compare the people of this generation?

What are they like?

They are like children who sit in the marketplace and call to one another,

‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance.
We sang a dirge, but you did not weep.’

Can you just imagine the little Jewish children in Jesus's time playing in the marketplace...every day was take your kids to work day back then. If I close my eyes, I can see them running around with dusty sandals and sun-kissed olive complexions, laughing, joking and teasing, and getting into mischief. I can hear one of the mothers call out to them, "Take your foolishness away from my tent, go play over there!" Can't you see them huddled together talking about "what to play", the vision is timeless. First, they act out a wedding with some playing invisible instruments and others dancing in the streets celebrating the event. They soon tire of this game and someone else suggests acting out a funeral, so they all solemnly process through the marketplace with some little girls acting like women weeping and wailing, as is so customary in the middle east.

The timeless games that children play

The games of childhood are timeless. Children all over the world, in fact, have acted out and pretended to put themselves in the "grown up" world ever since time began. This is how children learn to interact and communicate with one another, by mimicking what they learn is the "grown up" way to behave. I feel so fortunate to have been forever influenced by my Grandma Kidd, a kindergarten Sunday School teacher that fought for a different way of doing Sunday School. She believed on "hands on" Sunday School for Kindergarteners and preschoolers. She made every effort to bring the scriptures to life for each of them with biblical foods, tents made from sheets and little bible costumes, even sandals which she made herself. If you were to ask any one of her former Sunday School students, I know they would have fond memories of Sunday School, most of which would have been time spent with Mrs. Kidd. When she passed away, so many "grown ups" how they remembered all the fun "pretending" with Mrs. Kidd, and how their memories of bible stories were tied to "acting them out" during Sunday School. She was the original Drama Grandmama, and I'm so glad she showed me the way.

How many of us can recall being a participant in a "fake wedding" or "fake funeral". Personally, I recall that both Amy and I had "weddings" in our backyard using a silky old slip of Grandma Kidd's and about a half a yard of lace she'd given us to play with. Of course, I ALWAYS married Kevin and Amy ALWAYS married Craig and the not so appealing Wayne ALWAYS had to be the minister. We used azaelas from Grandaddy's prized collection and we even got rice from the kitchen for the "little kids" to throw at us. I also remember more than one "funeral" for more than one pet fish (we always made coffins out of matchboxes). Then there was the "full brass" military funerals complete with military accoutrements of the boys next door and the American flag for a few unlucky GI Joe "war heros". ( I grew up in Tidewater, with a lot of military folk). We learned rather slowly what could successfully be buried and unburied after a few very unfortunate stuffed animals literally bit the dust in a long forgotten shallow grave... poor Mr. Bun-Buns...sniffle, sniffle.

From fun and games to why don't you go home

I remember the fun and excitement so vividly and secretly hope to recapture some of that innocence once again for myself, when I "act out" things with my own kids. Oh, how simple life was when we were only the actors and not the players in the game of life! Inevitably, with all the fun we all had....the bossiness of two little girls, or the dis-interestedness of two little boys would eventually reek havoc on our camaraderie and begin the downward spiral with "play what we say or else, you dumb boys". They would look at us dumbfounded and the brave Kevin, my first puppy love, would get this crazy eyebrow thing going on and would say, "Let's go home Craig, they are dumber than dirt!" Time and time again, communication would break down, "I'm tired of this dumb game. YOU ALWAYS get to pick the game! This is so stupid and so boring!" and the boys would retreat to their own house. Early, the next morning though, as we'd be eating our breakfast, often on the back porch, we'd look over at the chain link fence and see two little boys. Soon enough we would hear, "Mary Beth, Amy, can we come over?" That's children for you.

This childish bickering is also timeless in nature....remember the scripture above? "We played the flute for you, but you did not dance. We sang a dirge, but you did not weep!" This is the way children act, we all know that, but it is also the way of many adults! If you are unclear, just watch the news coverage of some of the bi-partisan bickering before the November elections. This is precisely what Jesus is talking about when he refers to the people of his generation as children who sit in the marketplace and call to one another.....another timeless scenario, people stubbornly refusing to make progress, because of stubbornly digging in their heels and concentrating solely on what the other person did or did not do.

To everything there is a time and a purpose under heaven

This particular scripture's reference, I believe, is also a direct statement to the Pharisees who were bickering with the "common people" concerning the validity of the teachings of both John the Baptist and Jesus. In all their educated superiority they couldn't "get" what the common folk could plainly see. Jesus, brillantly of course, uses the words of the Old Testament, words well known to the Pharisees, to make his case when he speaks of dancing and weeping. It harkens back to the following OT scripture:

Ecclessiastes 3:1-8

There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.

A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

The difference between being a child and an adult is that we are no longer actors, pretending to live a future life, we are the real players, this is the real deal. The decisions we make every day have long term implications, we can no longer dismiss one another one day and expect that our little friend will be back at the fence calling for us to play again the next, no damage done. This is an enormous undertaking. We as adults, have to make decisions, we have to evaluate what is happening in our own lives and we have to decide how to proceed. We need to be able to carefully calculate the appropriate response to life's begging questions.

Great News

The great news is that we don't have to do it alone. Many people like to state, "God is on O-U-R side!" when bickering with one another, but as Abraham Lincoln once said, "Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right." How can we be on God's side, if we don't know personally what God's side is? I give props to my evangelical friends when they speak of a personal relationship with Christ, they are absolutely correct. As Catholics, we believe you don't get any more personal than the Eucharist, the body and blood of Christ that we believe is truly present at each mass we attend. The Eucharist is Jesus himself, being consumed by us, not as a symbol, but as Christ Himself, in the form of physical and spiritual food, in order to physically and spiritually transform us.

In the beginning there was the word (the word of God) and the word became flesh in Jesus Christ, His only son. The words of Christ are the words of God. God gave us the precious gift of His only son and He also gave us His word, to not sit collecting dust on a shelf but to be read, meditated on, prayed over and acted upon. It was also meant to be shared with one another during fellowship and worship in His houses, our churches.

We are all the body of Christ, we all have a job to do, a time to do it and a purpose under heaven....but how will we know if we don't invest some serious time in prayer, scripture reading and developing a personal relationship with the Most Holy Trinity....God the Father, Jesus the Son and The Holy Spirit. It is the only way to live, and it is the only way to die. Or perhaps I should say, it is the only way I'm surviving today given our present circumstance, being encouraged by the word, being uplifted by other believers, being guided by the graces only outpoured by God. I am a hopeless failure without Christ who strengthens me.

Mary Kidd Flemming blogs for The Handmaids of Mercy , The Splendor of Truth and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Life Issues). You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center  The Flemming Family is facing the greatest challenge of their lives as three of their six kids have health issues and were all diagnosed within an eighth month period. The children's illnesses include: Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Type I Diabetes (insulin dependent), and Ewing's Sarcoma (a form of bone cancer). This has been an incredible journey of faith for the Flemming Family. While they don't fully understand why any of this happened to their children, they place their trust and faith totally in God's goodness. By sharing their faith journey, their hope is that other people will be drawn closer to The Holy Trinity (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit). It is Mary's great hope that the sufferings of her children and family will be received by God for the conversion of souls. JESUS, WE TRUST in YOU!

Miscarriage: Three Love Letters from Heaven

Dear Mom and Dad,

Hi, it's me. I know you both have been having a hard time lately with everything that has been going on with my younger siblings. Three significant diagnoses in eight months, Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Diabetes Type I and Ewing's Sarcoma (bone cancer) are an awful lot to handle. For the last almost eighteen years, since early Jan. 1991 in fact, I've been your greatest champion interceding for you every chance I get. I remember so vividly the day you learned I was with you and how excited you both were. I also remember the day you were at the elementary school, Mom. You were an Instructional Assistant and one of the kids in your class, under your supervision on the playground, fell and broke his collar bone. Although his parents were so nice in reassuring you that it was not your fault, you were beside yourself with grief and came home exhausted, feeling the shock of your day consume you. A few days later you and Dad went in for your very first ultrasound, only to find that something had gone terribly wrong with me, your first child. I know how grief stricken you were and I asked Jesus to bless you very soon and he sent my younger brother John Matthew to you in an amazingly short amount of time. Remember the doctors Mom? They couldn't believe you had conceived again so quickly. Isn't God so good? I love you both and all my siblings and family whom I pray I will meet one day. Everyone that has arrived so far is awesome! I've got to go right now, I know someone else is waiting in the wings and has something to say.

Love,

Peter Augustine

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Peter is taking such good care of me. I was so happy to see him when I arrived in heaven on March 30, 2007. I've been talking to Jesus every day Mommy. I love my big brothers and sisters so much, and I know their suffering has a purpose. I know how excited you were Mommy when you found out you were expecting another child, and how you felt in your heart, right away, that I was a girl! I remember how you kept me a secret from everyone but Daddy for the entire first trimester, pondering me beneath your heart. Lovingly imagining my physical features, the interactions with my siblings and holding me in your arms. I also remember how sad you were when you started to lose me, how you cried in such pain and agony and asked God why, just when you accepted me fully and was prepared to tell the world, that you had to let go of me. I remember that my arrival in heaven was the same day as you were to direct the youth choir for The Stations of the Cross for the very first time. I remember how Daddy so quickly stepped in for you as you were physically unable to meet your obligation. I remember how Aunt Amy stayed on the phone with you while Daddy was gone and how Big Sissy Reagan played with the other kids and wouldn't let them bother you until Daddy and Johnny could get back home. By letting me go Mommy, you did your job, you got me to heaven. I know it wasn't the way you planned, and I miss you and Daddy and everyone so much, but I'm so happy with Jesus, Mommy. He loves me so much. I'm praying for you all every day.

Love,

JoHannah Paulina

Dear Mommy and Daddy.

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Gabriel Luke and I arrived in heaven last week, (Sept. 2008). I know that you have been so busy with trying to meet the needs of my three sick siblings, that you hadn't even realized yet that I was there. Mommy, I know you were shocked today to learn that you weren't just "getting older" with the normal age appropriate "female problems", but that your recent pain and suffering was the result of letting me too go to heaven. Peter and JoHannah welcomed me with open arms and then I got to meet all my family that arrived before me. I know you are confused Mommy. I've been listening in on your thoughts today. I know you are in shock too, I heard you say out loud, "I can't believe it. I just can't believe it." You and Daddy love each other so much, Mommy. So much that you decided long ago that you were going to deal with whatever God's plan for the two of you is, together, no matter what. Because you leave the size of your family up to God, you have and will continue to face scrutiny, disdain and even rebuke....that is all part of human nature, but I know Mommy, sometimes it is very hard to hear, especially when you already are trying to juggle so many emotions. Some people may say it is a blessing that you lost me, during this very intense and stressful time in your life. Being in heaven is the greatest blessing of all Mommy and I know in your heart, you accept that, but I also know that your heart aches for me anyway because I am your child. I want you to know that I will be talking to God everyday about sending you His tender mercies. I wish everyone could learn to swim in the Divine Mercy that flows from heaven. I'm so happy to be here with Peter and JoHanna. Heaven is a beautiful place to be if you can't be with your family. Thanks for being my only home on earth Mommy, and thanks Daddy for taking care of everyone so well. Thank-you both for continuing to desire to say in your heart, "Jesus, I Trust in You."

Love,

Gabriel Luke

P.S. My name was chosen by my Mom because she will always think of me as an angel of mercy. Gabriel is the angel that brought news of Christ's conception to Mary and the book of Luke is often called the Gospel of Mercy.

Mary Kidd Flemming blogs for The Handmaids of Mercy , The Splendor of Truth and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Life Issues). You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center  The Flemming Family is facing the greatest challenge of their lives as three of their six kids have health issues and were all diagnosed within an eighth month period. The children's illnesses include: Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Type I Diabetes (insulin dependent), and Ewing's Sarcoma (a form of bone cancer). This has been an incredible journey of faith for the Flemming Family. While they don't fully understand why any of this happened to their children, they place their trust and faith totally in God's goodness. By sharing their faith journey, their hope is that other people will be drawn closer to The Holy Trinity (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit). It is Mary's great hope that the sufferings of her children and family will be received by God for the conversion of souls. JESUS, WE TRUST in YOU!

What is Love?

What is Love?

I haven't blogged here at the Handmaids blogsite for a while now, as I've been knee-deep in alligators alongside our daughter Reagan as she battles bone cancer. I have been blogging on her Carepage for the last few months and will be transferring some of those blog posts here over the course of the next few weeks. Please continue to keep us all in your prayers as we continue on our faith journey.

Yesterday was an emotional day for me. After I put the kids on the bus I had a little quiet time to do my daily scripture reading and meditation. The first reading was from 1 Cor 12:31-13:13. It has held great significance for me since the first time I can recall truly reading it with a mature understanding, while in high school. Then I went off to Longwood and became a member of Sigma Alpha Iota, the music fraternity for women. A BIG SHOUT OUT to Michelle, Cindy, Ziggy (Elizabeth), Trese, and Becca, my FOREVER SAI Sisters. This scripture was and hopefully continues to be special to SAI. When John and I were choosing the scripture for our wedding, we chose it as well. So, I sat alone yesterday morning, reflecting on all those memories as tears streamed down my face.

1 Cor 12:31-13:13

Brothers and sisters:

Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.

But I shall show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues
but do not have love,
I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy
and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;
if I have all faith so as to move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own,
and if I hand my body over so that I may boast
but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, love is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.
If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing;
if tongues, they will cease;
if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
For we know partially and we prophesy partially,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child,
think as a child, reason as a child;
when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror,
but then face to face.
At present I know partially;
then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

The LOVE CHALLENGE: Resounding gongs, clashing cymbals or the real deal?

WOW! What a challenge this scripture presents. Love is an action word, plain and simple. It requires action on our part. It requires evolution, it can not remain stagnant. The interpretation of love as a child can continue throughout our life as long as it remains "childlike" rather than "childish". The purity, the simplicity children show when they love someone is what we should all strive for. But as we mature, as we strive to stretch ourselves in directions we may have always imagined we could not attain, we learn very quickly that "love" transforms us throughout the years. With the grace of God, we become a new creation when we accept the loving, gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit and give ourselves completely to Jesus, in our heart, soul and mind.

This transformation can be very painful, because in our journey, in order to grow, we must realize our faults. We must painfully learn from our mistakes what love "is" and what love "is not".

Yesterday, the new Wii was enjoyed by all the kids.....for about thirty minutes, they laughed together, encouraged each other and had a ball. Then, as always with children, at least my children, there was a subtle breakdown in communication. The helpful, loving guidance of the older kids quickly evolved into frustration as the little ones struggled to do it "right". The criticism of the older ones, hurt and annoyed the younger ones and before I knew it I was in the midst of crying and screaming BANCHEES! Resounding gongs and clashing cymbals. So, I quickly stepped in with a conversation about what "love" is and what "love" is not, including my stump speeches on charity, forgiveness, sharing and kindness. God so often prepares me ahead of time (early that morning) for the challenges of my day!

Love NEVER Fails

Later last night after the little ones were in bed, Johnny and Reagan, who tend to be highly critical of each other in spite of their five year difference, turned me into a blubbering idiot! Reagan had prepared for her shot with her numbing cream, but this was her eighth shot since we got home, in the same arm, and it was VERY PAINFUL. This is so hard for her Dad. Normally, she would cry out for me to hold her hand or snuggle her, but this time she called out to Johnny. He was sitting across the room and rushed to her side, embracing her, rubbing her bald head and comforting her with gentle, loving words, like I hadn't seen since he was a five-year-old and she was a babe in arms.

I remembered instantly how Johnny was so excited to finally get to hold and kiss his new little sister when she was finally released from the hospital after being in the NICU for fourteen days. He had only been able to gaze at her from the window during this time because he was not allowed in the NICU. I can vividly remember him crying his eyes out and dirtying the window with his sobbing, because he could not hold "his baby". From the minute we placed her in his arms, he gently hugged her, caressed her head and kissed her cheeks. In the car and then later at home the "LOVE FEST" continued until we literally had to set a kissing limit! Last night I was transported back to that time again, a time of pure love and mutual admiration, a time we all understood what "love" truly is as it was acted out before our very eyes. As the scripture says, "Love NEVER fails....It BEARS all things, BELIEVES all things, HOPES all things and ENDURES all things", including sibling rivalries, sibling REVELries, selfishness and self-lessness in the face of cancer.

Mary Kidd Flemming blogs for The Handmaids of Mercy , The Splendor of Truth and The Compass Rose (Parenting and Family Life Issues). You may also enjoy her husband's website: Crossroads Family Center  The Flemming Family is facing the greatest challenge of their lives as three of their six children have health issues and were all diagnosed within an eighth month period. The children's illnesses include: Auto-Immune Liver Disease, Type I Diabetes (insulin dependent), and Ewing's Sarcoma (a form of bone cancer). This has been an incredible journey of faith for the Flemming Family. While they don't fully understand why any of this happened to their children, they place their trust and faith totally in God's goodness. By sharing their faith journey, their hope is that other people will be drawn closer to The Holy Trinity (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit). It is Mary's great hope that the sufferings of her children and family will be received by God for the conversion of souls. JESUS, WE TRUST in YOU!